In the beginning, I didn't intend to write a serious novel like Never Again I wrote Regency Romances where you could escape and forget the roll of dental floss the children had wrapped around the doorknob, the dirty dishes that darkened the counter and the jam fingerprints that decorated the slider (New England term for sliding glass door).
In 2004, that all changed. I was reading a priesthood conference talk by President Hinckley when I was touched by the plight of a woman who had suffered becasue of her husband's addiction to pornography. I was impressed that I should write about a similar situation except in this case the woman should divorce her husband and find healing. Since I was resistant, I avoided writing, but somehow at odd times in the day or through the night, pieces of Megan's story would flitter around in my mind.
When I finally started writing Never Again, I had many wonderful/awful experiences. Thinking I was attending a marriage seminar, I set up my lap top in the center of a large room. The instructor stood up and announced that the schedule had been altered. She would be lecturing on pornography.
I was not thrilled about the subject of porn addiction, but I felt embarrrassed to stand up and walk out. Fifteen minutes later my husband asked if I wanted to leave. By then I was copiously taking notes, everything the woman was saying helped me to understand Megan's character. There was no question of leaving. After that, reasearch was easier.
I came to love Megan, to wish that her world hadn't been shattered. See, my schizophrenia is kicking in. Maybe it was a good thing that Megan became so vivid to me because I began to see her in my real everyday life, a sister of someone I knew, a member of my ward, an old friend and on and on.
My desire to finish this book grew. These women's stories needed to be told in a positive way that offered hope and healing. Megan's promise to Never Again risk her heart must be broken in order to do this.
I knew that some portions of this book would be heavy and dark so I added Jane and Esther for comic relief. I placed Amber in a position to soften and smoothe the way. It is my hope that as you read Never Again you will laugh, cry and be uplifted, but most of all that you will understand yourself or a dear sister who has suffered.